The Doctor Who Ranted

I reread this posting and decided to rewrite it.  Doctors give so much to so many people.  I was in deep pain when I wrote this entry and couldn't see beyond my own distress.

The doctor who talked to me about my situation responded aversely to me exploring the possibility of taking DCA.  I suppose it was a testimony of his faith in the system, when he reacted as he did with me.

Regretfully I was also given at that time, some information which was very discouraging about further treatment.  Information which in addition to his intense reaction, sent me deep into despair.

The most distressing part was him breaking my wife down with fear and anxiety. Here  I was, his cancer patient, leaving his office, and putting my own needs on the back burner, to support my discouraged wife.

I was confused.  If I was a doctor sitting in an office with someone with a terminal illness - how would I react if I faced a man searching for hope? Something to keep his spirit going?

I am a senior citizen. Life has taught me many things - one being, that we all make mistakes and we all wish we could replay life's musical score to get it right - if we had a second time around.  Age has also blessed me with more patience then I once had.  And, it has taught me, lessons on love and forgiveness. And, that is why I am refraining from giving his name.

He has much to learn and I hope that he never finds himself sitting as I did, before  a reincarnation of himself.

In the end, I am sure that this man overall, is an empathetic caregiver.  I have to look at it that way. I was hopefully, a blip in his personal radar screen.

I the end, I chose not to identify him, or the city or the hospital.  It could have been in the Sloan Kettering Hospital of Manhattan, or in any state of the union, or any province of Canada or for that matter he could have been one doctor or many.  The situation has universal implications for each of us to learn and grow from..